Mother Nature
by Chaotic Desires
Summary: Everything in Nature is alive and ruled by one. They have emotions, intelligence, and chakra. When one Uzamaki Naruto stumbles into the Forest, Nature, and thus the world, will never be the same. AU, yaoi and threesomes in later chapters. On Hiatus
1. Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and suing me would only get you about five dollars and a tub of chocolate ice cream. Yeah…

Warnings: Possible Yaoi, Possible Threesomes, OOCness, Au, Smart! Strong! but-not-Super! Naru.

A/N at bottom.

Chapter One: Nature

"I am the wind, I am the flame,

I am the surf, I am the soil.

I am free, I am untamed,

I hold the fruit of nature's toil.

Set me free and ye shalt see

What that nature has done to me."

-Verse of a Jinch­ūriki Sonnet

* * *

Forest rustled, her quiet life shuffling deep inside. The Summer was here, and the creatures were preparing for the Winter (when food would be scarce) even as they basked in the Sun's glow. Forest's leaves were a deep green, creating a soft harmony to the birds as the Wind rushed by. Small animals ventured outside of their dens, knowing it was safe outside if only for a while. Forest looked over her family, and was content.

But then a stranger came. The small animals darted back into their dens and burrows, the leaves paused for a moment, and Forest gathered her smallest insects to her, stilling their energetic chirping. The stranger was small; a Man-Creature that could only be seventy-two moons old, young for his species. He had light yellow fur that covered only the top of his head and eyes the color of the sky above. The man-creature's skin was pale, and Forest noticed that the red that was staining his strange, removable fur and fearful face was his LifeBlood. Forest recognized the LifeEnergy inside of him though. The Great Fox, caught in a man-creature!

Still, the Forest knew when a creature needs help, and the man-creature needed help. Forest released her hold on her insects, signaling to her family that this new being meant no harm. The few foxes she housed rushed to the container of their master, easing him to the ground and soothing his panic. Forest reached out with her energy, winding with the energy of the Great Fox that was already healing the young one. Wind, who had witnessed this all, breezed out to other Forests with other Winds. Mother would be interested to know of this, as would Wind's kinsmen.

A new age was afoot.

* * *

"You want to what? Naruto…do you know what you're asking?" An aging man with a goatee, who was wearing a strange and slightly comical outfit, eyed the young child in front of him with shock and curiosity. He was the Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Sasuke, and the child was none other than the Jinchūriki of the Kyūbi no Kitsune, Uzamaki Naruto. Naruto, oddly quiet for one so young, merely nodded, eyes shining brightly.

"Hai, Ojii-sama. The Forest makes me feel safe. As much as I love the village, I just don't get that here." Sarutobi flinched slightly. It was sadly true that Naruto, young as he was, would be safer outside the village in the forest than inside the village with the people. He had, at least, three assassination attempts a month.

"All right Naruto, but there will be rules you have to follow." Sarutobi slipped smoothly into grandfather mode.

"First, you are not to stray _too_ far from Konoha unless I give you express permission. Second, when I enroll you, and I will enroll you, you shall go to the academy just as you would were you living in the village. And third, at the end of each month you will report to me and if I feel that living in the woods is detrimental to your health in any way I will retract this privilege immediately and you will return to the village. Do I make myself clear? Naruto met his gaze evenly.

"Hai! I will do as you say. Arigatō, Ojii-sama!" Naruto flashed him a foxy smile before bouncing out of the office as only a hyperactive seven year-old could. Sarutobi watched him, a fond if extremely sad look in his eye.

"Minato…am I doing the right thing?" He asked. A warm breeze blew across his face, sweeping along with it several small leaves. Sarutobi sighed, closing his eyes. "I sure hope so…"

* * *

The Den was really a cave, with a small mouth situated high on the mountain. The mouth let light filter in, illuminating the craggy stalagmites that littered across the floor. Deep shadows hid the web of interconnecting tunnels, the ones that led to at least two spacious caverns such as this, as well as other, smaller caves. Some of the other ones were occupied by families of foxes, a mother and her kits. Naruto, himself, slept in one of these smaller dens, but the training was all done in this one chamber. Forest was slowly teaching Naruto about the LifeEnergy, or 'chakra' as the man-creatures called it. He could manipulate it outside his body for long periods of time, something that Forest and most of her creatures couldn't do at all. The only ones who could (and thus the only ones that could teach him) were the predators, especially the foxes. They had been teaching him for over a year (since before he moved out of the village), and he was now quite proficient at it. Forest and Lake, however, had taught meditation techniques. Now, they were telling him to combine the two techniques in order to contact who they called 'the Great Fox'. It shouldn't be too hard…

Naruto woke up in a sewer system. The dank water was shallow, only up to his knees, but the walls glistened and the water was rank and he definitely did _not_ want to be here any more. Unfortunately, he didn't have a choice.

Seeing no other option, he walked along the dim corridor. Not even a minute later, the corridor opened into a room with a ceiling so high he couldn't see it and heavy steel gates covering an unnaturally shadowed area. Naruto noticed that the gates were held with a seal.

"**So you've finally decided to join me, eh?"** Naruto jumped, looking around before fixing his gaze to the area behind bars. A dark chuckle echoed around the room.

"**Smart gaki, but still just a ningen."** Looming out of the darkness, a pair of malicious and yet not evil red eyes opened slowly, higher than the Hokage Tower in Konoha. Glinting jaws formed a grotesque grin, salvia creating a 'plop!' sound as it dripped from the pointed teeth into the sewage below. And, almost indistinguishable from the deeper shadows farther into the cage, tails flicking back and forth like a frisky cat.

The fiery certainty that raced through Naruto's body knew only one word.

"Kyūbi."

Kyūbi grinned. This blonde child (who looked far too much like the man who sealed him for it to be a coincidence) had said his name without flinching, without so much as a blink. No sign of fear at all. Nice, for a ningen.

"**Very good, gaki. At least you aren't totally moronic. 'Cause then I'd just have to kill myself."** Naruto blinked, not understanding the humor. Kyūbi sighed. No one understood real comedy anymore.

"**Alright gaki, listen up because I'm only going to say this once. I will train you in the ways of mine own, and you will allow me access to the outside world, real-time, no memory re-runs."** Kyuubi offered, but there was finality to his voice. This _would_ happen.

Naruto snapped out of his shock. "Hai! Umm…how do you do that?" Kyūbi twitched. _**"Maybe I should take back that 'not totally moronic' statement…"**_

* * *

"Naruto, it's time." Naruto pouted.

"But why?" he whined. Sarutobi sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

"Because that was part of the deal for you to live in the forest. Besides, don't you want to become a shinobi? This is the only way." Naruto perked up a bit, and then deflated again.

"But Ojii-sama…what about the villagers? They, they won't want me near their kids…" Naruto whispered, and Sarutobi sighed.

"Naruto…you know why they dislike you?" Sarutobi asked hesitantly, and Naruto snorted in derision. It was far too bitter a sound for a child not even into double-digits yet.

"Dislike? Putting it a bit mildly there…but yeah. I do."

"I won't ask how you know…but you know that they are blind. You are a jailhouse."

"That still doesn't solve the problem of them not wanting me near they're kids."

"Well, we just don't care what they think, do we?" Naruto giggled, and Sarutobi felt proud of himself.

* * *

Uzamaki Naruto was twelve years old, had been in the academy for four years, and still he was a bit nervous. He looked good, for a twelve year old. Tan skin, sun-kissed hair, and sky-blue eyes. He wore a large (baggy) zip-up orange hoodie with hidden pockets and a spiral on his back, and dark blue Capri pants with numerous pockets for weapons, scrolls, and other miscellaneous items (read: ramen. Lots and lots of ramen.). He, unlike some insecure men, wore some jewelry, which he never took off (nor did he explain why he never took them off). Nothing fancy, just a black collar and a simple silver ring, but it was enough. (And according to a certain someone, it was HOT).

But now he was just wai-"Uzamaki Naruto!"-ting. Naruto stood. Hyūga Hinata (a certain someone), his number one fan, not that there were many others, wished him luck.

"Kya~! Naruto-kun, ganbette ne!" Naruto gave her an awkward smile. Stepping into the testing room, he smiled at Iruka-sensei. Iruka smiled back.

"Alright Naruto, kawarimi." Naruto switched places with a conveniently placed log, and Iruka nodded. "Now henge." Naruto henged into a perfect Mizuki.

"And create three bunshin." Naruto gulped, and then pushed his chakra into his hand seal. Three bunshin appeared, almost flickering out when Naruto lost focus. When Iruka nodded he sighed in relief and released the jutsu. The jutsu required such ridiculously low chakra and he had such large reserves that he had to put _all_ the control he learned (with Forest and the foxes) to good use. Iruka handed over a shiny new hitai-ate and Mizuki looked on with thinly-veiled disgust. "Congratulations on becoming a Konoha genin, Naruto."

"Thanks, Iruka-sensei."

When he got back to the classroom, Hinata squealed. "I knew you would make it Naruto-kun! Hey, do you think we'll make it on the same team?" she started to babble. Cursing his luck, he spied out the Uchiha under a large pile of girls. Looking at the single girl clinging to his arm, he decided he didn't have it too bad.

"**Hey Kit. You're one step closer, now."** The deep, rumbling voice was inside his head.

'_Yeah, Kyū. One step closer…'_

* * *

Glossary of Japanese words:

Jinchūriki: Power of a human sacrifice. It is what they call the containers of the sealed demons.

Sandaime Hokage: The third Fire Shadow of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. He leads and protects the village. He is the first hokage to have served the village as Hokage more than once, when his successor died sealing the Kyūbi.

Kyūbi no Kitsune: The Nine-tailed Demon Fox that attacked Konoha the day of Naruto's birth. It is sealed inside of him. It is also called 'the Great Fox' by Nature.

Hai: A respectful form of 'yes'.

Ojii-sama: A respectful form of 'old man' or 'grandfather'.

Konoha: A shortened form of Konohagakure no Sato. The Village Hidden in the Leaves, a ninja village.

Arigatō: Thank you.

Chakra: The energy used in Naruto to perform Jutsu's as well as other things. Nature calls it LifeEnergy.

Gaki: unrespectful form of 'child'; Brat.

Ningen: Human Being.

Shinobi: Ninja

Ganbatte ne: Please try harder.

Sensei: an honorific that means 'teacher', or 'master' in the form of an apprenticeship. Can be used standalone if one is familiar with their teacher.

Jutsu: Technique.

Kawarimi: The 'switching' technique, where you switch yourself with something or someone else. Ninja's tend to do it with logs, but it can also be done using smaller or larger objects, or even solid bunshin and people.

Henge: The 'transformation' technique, where you disguise yourself as something or someone else. Most ninja can only use it as an illusion, but stronger ninja with more chakra capacity can train it so that it becomes as solid and 'real' as they object or person transformed into.

Bunshin: The 'clone' technique, the basic form creates an illusion of a clone, which cannot fight and vanish easily. There are many variations of the bunshin, some of which are solid and can deal damage. These two, however, can usually be dispelled with one hit.

Hitai-ate: Headband with a ninja's affiliation displayed. It is illegal for civilians to wear a ninja headband in Konoha, and if there is a slash running through the middle of the headband it means that the wearer is a missing-nin.

Genin: The lowest level of ninja. They can only take D- or occasionally C-rank missions.

-kun: An honorific, usually used on a boy younger than you, but can be used on boys only a couple of years older. Many times it is used by a girl to the boy she likes.

A/N: So yeah, that was fun. I made some changes to the Naruto 'verse, as you can tell by Hinata's wildly OOC moments. Only a few changes had been made, and they will become apparent next chapter. I will have a list of things that have been changed at the end of next chapter as well, but feel free to PM me if you don't understand something or want to clarify anything. Ja na!


	2. Nature of a Team

Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto, still only have five dollars and a tub of chocolate ice cream. Although now it's more like half of a tub…

Warnings: Same as last time.

Chapter Two: Nature of a Team

"Sing with me,

Sing for the years,

Sing for the laughter,

And Sing for the tears.

Sing with me if it's just

For today.

Maybe tomorrow the good lord'll

Take you away!"

-Dream On by Aerosmith

* * *

"Wai! I hope I get on Sasuke-kun's team! No, not hope…I _will_ get on Sasuke-kun's team! I have the power of True Love on my side after all…" Sakura inspected herself in the mirror, giving herself a wink and a thumb's up.

'_Perfect!'_

* * *

'THWACK!' Sasuke inspected his handiwork. The kunai had been embedded into the target dead-center, leaving only the hilt sticking out and quivering slightly. Surveying the kunai and shurikan littered into the trees, he nodded in satisfaction. He noted the time, and began to head over to the Academy for team assignments.

'_Feh, teammates.'_ Not that he wouldn't ditch them the first chance he got but… _'If there is any Kami out there, do __not__ let there be any fan girls on my team!'_ A leaf fluttered from a tree to his right. He hurled a kunai without looking. Glancing over, he saw the leaf sliced cleanly in two. He smirked, causing some fan girls watching (read: stalking) him to squeal in delight.

'_Perfect.'_

* * *

Naruto flinched as another glare was thrown his way. Word had gotten out that he had passed the genin exam, and the villagers were pissed.

"Shouldn't be allowed to live, let alone become a shinobi!"

"Damn demon…"

"Did you hear? Sawako-san saw it…talking with a fox! And the Hokage wants this monster with our children? Protecting them?"

"He'll turn on us eventually, I tell you…"

It was at this point that the rocks, tomatoes, and miscellaneous objects started to be flung at him by a few of the more petty villagers.

"**Kit, please let me kill one, just one I promise!"**

'_No, Kyū.'_ Just then a tomato splattered onto his hair, making it so that he would need to ask Iruka-sensei to help him get it out when he got to the Academy.

'_Just perfect.'_

"**Kit…"**

'_No.'  
_

* * *

Hinata bounded up to her mother. She just didn't know what she'd do without her. "Okaa-san, sayōnara!"

Her mother stopped her. "What, no hug for your poor, old, helpless mother?" Hinata giggled. Hyūga were polite, proper, and arrogant. Hyūga-Inuzuka Hikari was another matter. She was not born Hyūga and, though she was brought up as though she was due to the marriage contract drawn up before her birth, she definitely acted like an Inuzuka. She brought Hinata up to be just like her (much to Hiashi's displeasure) so the heir to the main branch of the Hyūga was…interesting to say the least.

"Oh, and what about the Namikaze boy? Or rather, the Uzamaki boy?" Hinata's eyes glittered, and then she gasped.

"Ommagawd, I forgot to train this morning, I was so busy getting ready!" Hikari raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it's only one day…"

"Okaa-san! Even just one day will make me weaker, and Naruto-kun doesn't like weak girls! Kuso I'm--gomen, 'kaa-san!--going to be late! Kuso, kuso, kuso!" Hikari sent a stern stare at her daughter's retreating back. Once she was out of sight her gaze melted into a confused look, before she shrugged.

"At least she isn't obsessing over dieting…"

Hinata rushed to the Academy. Maybe is she hurried, she might be able to sit next to Naruto-kun!

'_Wonderful…'_

* * *

Shino was already in the classroom. Iruka-sensei had learned to ignore him. He was always early.

He came at Five o' clock sharp.

Everyday.

He then sat down.

Everyday.

And then he was silent.

_All day._

Really, all he was doing was talking to his bugs but since that tended to freak people out, he always kept their conversations in his head. Unfortunately, this caused him to forget that other people didn't have telepathy. So whenever someone asked him something, he replied in his head. In fact, Shino would have been quite the Social Butterfly…

"_Iruka-sensei, Why do you wear that ridiculous pony tail? You won't be able to beat Shikamaru-kun in looking like a pineapple, so you should just give it up all ready."_

…or maybe not.

"_Shi-kun, Namikaze's coming. He'll probably try and talk to you again, and Ri-chan'll help you remember to reply this time!"_

"_Wonderful!"_

* * *

"Alright Akamaru! Today's the day we'll show up both the Uchiha and Hinata-chan!" Akamaru barked, causing Kiba to blush and rush back into his room.

"Shut up Akamaru, I would not have run all the way to the Academy in only my underwear! I would have noticed! …eventually!" Akamaru shook his head, and Kiba got the impression that if he could he'd roll his eyes.

"Just you wait cousin… I'll beat you and when I do it'll be--"Akamaru cut him off, growling, and Kiba laughed.

"Yeah, that's right Akamaru!" Kiba smirked, and some of the lower-ranking members of his clan blushed at the deliciously feral expression.

'_Wonderful. Just wonderful…'_

* * *

Ino rushed out the door, her hitai-ate flailing from her fist. She had to get to the Academy before Forehead! It would be the only way to guarantee a seat next to Sasuke-kun. She'd put her hitai-ate on then. Then she'd be a ninja.

Finally he'd notice her.

Finally she'd make her father proud to have a daughter like her.

'_Finally...'_

* * *

Chouji walked into the classroom. It wasn't chaos, but it was close. The Uchiha, moron that he was, had sat in the middle of a row, leaving two spots for fan girls to fight over. They were like a pack of vultures, not even noticing that their quarry was already taken by the pink and blonde vultures. Uzamaki was casting unsure and slightly freaked out looks to the Hyūga heiress, who apparently was sitting too close for comfort. Chouji sighed in relief when he spotted Shikamaru.

A spark of sanity in this world.

'_Finally!'_

* * *

Shikamaru raised his head for only a second when Iruka walked in. The room fell (relatively) quiet.

'_Finally!!!'_

* * *

"First off, I would like to announce the number one rookie of the year." A fan girl scoffed. As though it could be anyone other then Sasuke-kun! "Uchiha Sasuke!" The fan girls erupted into cheers.

"Congratulations, Sasuke-kun!"

"We knew it'd be you!"

"Marry me!" Iruka cleared his throat, glaring hard at the fan girls. They slowly fell silent. Hinata, too, glared at the fan girls, and Sasuke as well. How dare he show up Naruto-kun…!

"The number one Kunoichi is Hyūga Hinata!" The class clapped politely, including Naruto-kun. Naruto turned to her shyly.

"Congratulations, Hinata-san." Hinata blushed, caught off guard by the praise. She smiled at him, less creepy than her usual fan girl smile.

"Arigatō, Naruto-kun!"

"Now, for the team assignments. Team One is Akazutsumi Momoko, Gotokuji Miyako, and Matsubara Kaoru. Team Two is Gaiijin Kisshu, Gaigen Pai, and Chibijin Taruto. Team three is out of commission…" Iruka droned on. Naruto fidgeted.

'_Kyū, who's going to be on our team?'_

"**Your team, you mean. And how would I know? I don't pay attention to things like that."**

'_Some help you are…'_

"**I live to serve. Now pay attention."**

"Team Seven is Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura--" the room burst into noise.

"How come that bitch gets to be with Sasuke-kun?"

"You must have read that wrong, Iruka-sensei!"

"True Love does conquer all~!"

And not heard under the noise... "Kill me now, Kami. You hate me so much, why don't you just kill me now?"

"QUIET!" and quiet there was. "Now, Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and Uzamaki Naruto."

"WHAT?!" Iruka gulped. Hinata was looking at him with murder in her eyes.

"H-Hinata-san! I'm sure your teammates will be fine…"Naruto tried to calm her down. She whipped her head to him.

"That's not good enough!" he recoiled, and she realized who she was yelling at. "Naruto-kun, I--" Iruka cut her off.

"You can apologize later Hinata. For now, the next person who interrupts will become target practice for the first-year students. Got it?" With the nervous gulps and furious nods, Iruka figured they got it. "Team Eight is Hyūga Hinata, Aburame Shino, and Inuzuka Kiba." Both Hinata and Kiba twitched and glared at each other, but neither said anything. "Team Nine is Yagami Raito, Amane Misa, and Lawliet L. Team Ten is Akimichi Chōji, Nara Shikamaru, and Yamanaka Ino. That's it. Your Jōnin instructors will come by to pick you up after lunch. I suggest you use this time to get to know your new teammates. That is all."

The students, no, the shinobi rose from the seats to seek out their teammates. Iruka watched for a moment. From this moment on, they were adults, and any of them could die at any moment. His eye sought out the blonde haired child who was waiting patiently for the rush to slow, and Iruka's heart clenched. He turned his face down, not looking at the children-turned-adults. Soon, too soon, every one of them would have their innocence ripped out of them. Iruka smiled bitterly. _'And I am the one that set them on that path.'_

"Iruka-sensei?" Iruka looked up into blue eyes. Naruto, shrinked back slightly, shy.

"Ano, will you still take me out for ramen…even though I'm not your student anymore?" Naruto's eyes were insecure.

"Of course, but no 'all-you-can-eat's! My wallet is getting depressingly skinny." Naruto smiled at him. There were rewards to this job after all…

* * *

"Ano, Sasuke-kun? Want to eat lunch with me? I figure that cense we're teammates, we should…"

"No." Sakura deflated.

"A-ah, Sasuke-san? Sakura-san? We really should stick together. We're probably going to be together a long time…" Sasuke snorted, and Naruto frowned at him. "What about you, Sakura-san? Maybe Sasuke-san just has other things he needs to take care of first…" Sakura shrugged.

"I, I guess. By the way, you should call me Sakura, no honorific. Like you said, we're probably going to be together a long time."

"Eh? Oh! Right, Sakura-sa…I mean, Sakura." Sakura nodded in satisfaction.

"Tell me about yourself, Naruto." Naruto bit his lip, walking over to a tree and sitting in the shade.

"There's not much to tell…I like ramen, and nature. I live in Forest…" Sakura, sitting next to him, was startled.

"Wait, you live in the forest?" Naruto turned to her, nodding slowly. "Why?" she asked, slightly incredulous. Naruto furrowed his eyebrows.

"I've lived there since I was seven. I…like Forest. I don't see a reason not to live there."

"What about your parents? Do they live in the forest too?"

"I'm an orphan." Sakura recoiled.

"I am so sorry, I had no idea…"

"It's okay, you couldn't have known. So, what about you?" Naruto asked, shy again. He was supposed to ask that, right?

"Oh, well, I like flowers. And cherries are always good…I guess I do my name well, huh?" Naruto giggled, nodding. Sakura blinked. That giggle was…really cute. Like what you would expect to hear from a little five year old girl. Strangely, it suited him. Sakura suspected it had something to do with the big blue eyes…

"Sakura?"

"Oh, right. Umm, what were we talking about again?"

* * *

When everyone was back in the classroom, the jōnin came in. Team 8, one of the first to leave, had a very pretty jōnin teacher, with dark brown hair and red eyes. Team 10 left not long after that, following a chain smoker with a goatee. One by one the teams left, until only Team 7 was left. Iruka, having other business to attend to, offered Naruto an apologetic smile. Naruto waved it off, glaring at the door. Sakura, twitched, trying to convince herself that unleashing Inner Sakura on the jōnin when they entered would not be in her self-interest. Sasuke twitched as well, inwardly promising that he'd maim the jōnin when it came time for training. Finally, two hours and many glares and twitches later, the door opened. Whatever they were expecting, it wasn't this.

"My first impression of you is that…you're boring!" His upturned eye was the only indication that he was smiling…mostly because everything but his left eye was covered. A mask reached over his nose, and his hitai-ate was pulled over one eye. He had shocking gray hair that defied gravity, reaching up to the sky. The only thing normal about him was his outfit, the standard green vest of jōnin over average shinobi clothes.

"Up to the rooftops!" and he disappeared. The three genin blinked, before shrugging and heading towards the stairs. When they reached the top the saw their sensei was already there. Sitting on the stone benches, they turned toward him and waited for instructions.

"Now introduce yourselves!" the man ordered. "Name, likes and dislikes, hobbies, and dreams." Sakura tilted her head.

"Sensei, why don't you go first? Since we don't know you at all…"

"Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi. I like many things, I dislike many other things, and I have hobbies that are unsuitable for your little virgin ears…" Sakura flushed, Sasuke snorted, and Naruto blinked.

"What about your dreams, sensei?" he asked. Kakashi paused. Sakura, Naruto, and even Sasuke leaned forward.

"…don't have any!" Face fault.

"I guess I'll go next, then. My name is Haruno Sakura, and I like flowers, cherries, and…" she glanced at Sasuke and blushed. "I dislike Ino-pig, for she is a bitch." She nodded to herself. "My hobbies…" she glanced at Sasuke again, and blushed deepened, "My dreams..." she seemed to be taking greater thought into this question and her blush faded, "I guess…my dreams are undecided right now." Kakashi nodded to her.

'_At least she isn't a __totally__ useless fan girl…'_

"Duck-butt, you're up!" Sasuke glared at Kakashi harshly.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. The only thing I really like is my mother. I dislike many, many things. I have no time for hobbies, I train. And I do not have a dream; I have a goal that I _will_ make happen. I will kill a certain man and avenge my father and my clan." Sakura looked a Sasuke, eyes wide. Naruto looked over too, but his eyes were narrowed in thought.

'_Well, that's about as much as can be expected. It is fortunate that his mother and some of his clan survived the massacre, if he's this emo with them I'd __hate__ to see how emo he'd be without them…'_

"Now, Blondie! Your turn!" Naruto bit his lip.

"My name is N-Uzamaki Naruto. I like Nature and Ramen, and I dislike ghosts." Sasuke rolled his eyes while Sakura stifled a giggle. "My hobbies are training and gardening, and my dream is a secret." Sakura pouted.

"No fair, Naruto…" she muttered. He gave an uncertain but apologetic smile.

'_He certainly grew up interesting. I wonder what the deal with him and nature is?'_

"Alright minions. Tomorrow we have a special mission." The three snapped to attention immediately. "A mission…for just the three of us." They leant forward more. "This mission is…" They leant even farter forward. "…survival training." They fell over. God, how Kakashi loved to be himself.

"Kakashi-sensei, we already did survival training in the academy. Why would we need to do it again?"

"Well, Sakura-chan, you've never done Survival Training with me. I'm sure it'll be quite different from what you're used to. Specifically because if you don't pass this training you won't become a ninja."

"Nani?" Kakashi eye-smiled them.

"Maa, maa, don't all jump me at once. Before you ask, the genin exam before this one was to weed out the truly pitiful. This one, however, is to decide if you become actual genin. Only nine out of the twenty-seven graduates will become ninja. The rest will be forced back into the academy. They're the weakest of all…So anyway, you need to get to Training Ground Seven at five in the morning. Oh and, don't eat breakfast, or you'll throw up… Ja ne!"

"Matte, sensei!" Sakura said just as Kakashi was covered in smoke. She stared at the smoke cloud, and then sighed. "Why I even try sometimes…" she whispered, "Sasuke-kun! And…Naruto as well, why don't we go eat dinner together or something. So we can, like, bond before the survival training." Sasuke scoffed, muttering of needing to go home. Naruto bit his lip, glancing from the forest to her, and she sighed. "I guess it can wait for some other day." As they both trudged off to the stairs, she turned to the space her sensei had left. _'Sensei…we're a team, and already you're testing us? I'm not sure if we're ready for this…'_

* * *

The next morning all three were up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at five AM. Er, maybe not exactly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but they were close! However, it wasn't until eight AM that Kakashi-sensei arrived to a blasted ear-drum. He tried to explain the test while simultaneously checking for blood.

"As you can see, in my hand I have bells. In order to become full-fledged genin you need to be able to take a bell from me--" Sakura cut him off.

"But sensei, there are only two bells!"

"Point for being able to count, Sakura-chan. However, I already know that there are two bells. I guess that means only two of you can pass. I also wasn't finished explaining. The only way to become a full-fledged genin is to take one of these bells from me…before my timer goes off. Which means none of you may pass. Just to rub salt in the wound, anyone who did not get a bell in the time limit will be tied to a tree stump, and I shall eat their bento in front of them." He pointed to the left. The not-yet-true-genin saw three logs, each with a bento placed on top of them. "The timer starts now." He said while they were distracted. They were momentarily surprised, before they raced off into the underbrush. "Oh, and make sure you come at me with the intent to kill, if you don't you won't get far." Kakashi pulled out an orange book, giggling and seemingly oblivious to the world. He was happy that none of the students took the bait.

Sasuke was up in the trees, Sakura was under those bushes, and Naruto was right next to the lake. Sasuke was the first to run out of patience, sending a wave of kunai in Kakashi's direction. Kakashi was hit, but then he burst into smoke and a log was in his place. Sasuke cursed under his breath, about to move from his compromised hiding space, when a voice ghosted over his ear.

"And just what were you hoping to accomplish by that, hmm?" Sasuke twisted, kunai already in hand. It was blocked with another kunai.

Sasuke jumped back, landing in the sand covered clearing. Kakashi landed in front of him, without disturbing the sand below his feet. "Lesson One: Taijutsu. Let's not use weapons, ne?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but placed his kunai back in his weapon pouch. Kakashi kept out his book, though.

"Aren't you going to get rid of the book?" he asked, finally.

"Don't need to. You have no chance against me." Sasuke's stare turned into a glare. Determined to prove his teacher wrong, he rushed forward. His punch was easily parried. Sasuke aimed a kick at Kakashi's ankles, which was evaded. Punch swipe kick. All were ineffective against Kakashi. The jōnin chuckled.

"So this is the pride of the Uchiha clan? Pathetic." Sasuke's eyes widened, then steeled. He became faster, putting more power in his strikes. Kakashi still evaded, but just as he jumped to avoid a lunge, Sasuke was at his other side with his heel in his stomach. Kakashi winced. "Seems I've misjudged you. Guess I should put this away." Kakashi placed his book in his pocket. He turned to Sasuke, who was aiming a punch at his chest. He grabbed the hand, twisting it. Sasuke retaliated by forcing his back to bend so that his leg aimed at the side of Kakashi's stomach. Kakashi was forced to release the hand to move away from the kick, and Sasuke used the force of his twist to bring his arm around harder than normal, causing the air to whistle as it rushed by. Kakashi and Sasuke soon fell into a dance, switching tactics every so often. Naruto and Sakura used this time to study Kakashi's movements. It ended when, after Sasuke brushed against one of the bells, Kakashi sent a particularly forceful kick to his students chin, flinging him from the clearing. He took his book back out, wandering off.

Naruto sat down on the water and thought. Kakashi was extremely skilled in Taijutsu it seemed, having beaten Sasuke with minimal effort. It would be useless to go into hand-to-hand combat with him. However, a trap was another matter. With his book in his hand, he got considerably less dangerous, and he kept the book out unless he felt you were a threat, like with Sasuke. Naruto's eyes widened as he formed a plan.

Sakura brow furrowed. That Sasuke-kun was beaten so easily, Kakashi had to be extremely skilled. Of course, just because he was a jōnin meant he was skilled. That didn't help her at all! Suddenly, so soft she might have thought she imagined it, she heard a voice.

"Lesson Two: Genjutsu." Her eyes widened. Her sensei had just put her in a genjutsu! She looked around quickly, nothing seemed amiss. In fact everything was normal. The trees swayed, the birds sung, the bugs annoyed her by crawling over her arms, and the sky was blue. It was almost like she wasn't in a genjutsu. Her teacher appeared in front of her. "Come on Sakura-chan. What's wrong here?" He asked. She blinked.

"Nothing's wrong sensei…but why? You told me you were going to put me into a genjutsu so…but why would you tell me? That basically negates the genjutsu by itself…unless there wasn't a genjutsu. Right?" He nodded.

"Very good. But there won't always not be a genjutsu." He formed a hand sign, and teleported away. She frowned, the hair on the back of her neck prickling.

"Sa-kura…" a voice rasped. She looked to her right, and nearly screamed. Naruto was there. His arm was bent the wrong way; there were cuts all over his face, arms, and clothes, some with kunai still sticking out of them; and blood stained his clothes and hair. "Sakura…help me. Please…" he said, his voice slightly stronger. Her breath came in harder and harder, and somewhere in the back of her mind she noted that she was hyperventilating. She forced herself to breathe in deeply and…there was no scent of blood. She frowned, and then grinned. "Kai!" She shouted, and the dying Naruto vanished. She checked the small clearing, before rushing back into the undergrowth. Kakashi nodded from where he was watching in the trees. He almost thought she was going to faint at the genjutsu, but she had managed to pull through. Good. Now, all that was left was the miniature blonde.

Naruto meanwhile was putting the finishing touches on his trap. Kakashi should be here soon.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Kakashi teleported right in front of Naruto, causing him to stumble back a few steps. "You know, you haven't even tried for the bells yet. What have you been doing while I've been busy?" Naruto smirked.

"This." He said, using a chakra scalpel to cut the invisible wire in front of him. Immediately Kakashi had to jump out of the way of a ring of explosive notes around him…right into Naruto's real trap. Small chakra strings strung around the trees. Kakashi jumped right through three, into the middle. When Naruto yanked on the ones wrapped around his left hand they passed through the trees harmlessly, trapping Kakashi's arms to his body. Naruto strode forward to collect his bounty when 'Kakashi' turned into a log for the second time that day. Kakashi, himself, jumped down from the branches, frowning at Naruto.

"You have…extremely good chakra control." He said, ignoring Naruto's glare. Naruto nodded. "Well, no matter. Lesson Three: Ninjutsu." He blinked when Naruto growled. "What?"

"I hate elemental Ninjutsu. It forces nature to do its bidding."

"You can't go you're whole ninja career without Ninjutsu."

"Actually you can."

"We'll see…" Kakashi ran through hand signs, forcing Naruto into the main clearing to miss the stream of fire.

"Gah! Are you trying to kill me?" Naruto asked.

"Well, since you're coming at me with the intent to kill I figured I should return the favor." Kakashi said smiling. With that he sent another fire stream at Naruto. Naruto didn't dodge this time; instead he switched with a log. Things continued in this vein for some time, until Kakashi formed a different set of hand signs. He disappeared, but without the plume of smoke he used with the Shushin. Naruto's eyes scanned the clearing, when the Ground informed him that something was moving inside of it. Naruto tried to jump away, but wasn't fast enough to do it before Kakashi pulled him under. Kakashi looked down at him in disappointment.

"Do you know haw many teams I've failed with this test? Eleven. Eleven teams. I never passed a single genin, because they thought they could beat me on their own." He shook his head, teleporting away. Naruto looked ashamed of himself. Sasuke and Sakura, who had seen the exchange, frowned. Sasuke scoffed. The loser had thought he could take down Kakashi on his own? Sakura frowned at her sensei's words. They sounded…wrong. And what the hell was up with this test anyway? Honestly, why put them in teams if you were going to get rid of one member? And only nine genin…when two genin from each team could theoretically pass the test…leaving out another nine genin…tried to beat him on their own…that's it! She rushed out of her hiding spot, stopping in front of Naruto.

"Naruto, I figured it out! The test is a trick; sensei's trying to pit us against each other! The only way any of us is going to pass is if all of us pass! It's a test of teamwork!" Naruto looked up at Sakura in awe, where she was all ready trying to dig him out.

"Sakura, that's really really smart!" She blushed slightly. Sasuke jumped out of the trees, wordlessly helping dig Naruto out. Sakura blinked at him.

"Sasuke-kun…?" He grunted. She smiled to herself slightly, and then shook her head. She bit her lip and squinted her eyes for a moment, then nodded to herself.

"Okay, I have a plan. Sasuke-kun, since you're the fastest and most experienced fighter out of us three, you attack him. Once you get him sufficiently distracted, Naruto can jump in and tie him up. Ah, Naruto do you have any ninja wire or something to tie him?" Naruto grinned.

"Yeah, I have something to tie him with." Sakura nodded.

"And then when he's tied I can jump out and get the bells, he won't expect me to be there. Uh," she seemed to suddenly realize she was ordering a guy she didn't know and Sasuke-kun around. "…if that's alright with you two, that is…" she trailed off.

Sasuke, not finding any flaw in her (admittedly well thought out) plan, nodded along with Naruto. God, who knew such a brain was hidden inside one of his fan girls?

Kakashi sat on a rock, nose inside the book that normally enraptured him. Right now he was thinking about his soon-to-be-ex-students. It was really too bad, they all showed potential to be great, and one of them was the Last (loyal) Uchiha, but he refused to take on a team that couldn't work out the true meaning of the test. Sighing, he turned the page in his book, and leaped off the rock just as Sasuke brought his fist where he had been.

"Maa, Sasuke-kun, I thought we already went over this?" he said, putting his book away just in time to catch the kick to his visible eye. Sasuke glowered. Swipe, spin, dodge, duck, lunge, parry, shift…nothing? Out of the corner of his eye Kakashi saw Naruto already at his back. _'Damn it! I was so focused on Sasuke I forgot to keep my chakra senses open!'_ Naruto's hand pulled his arm around, wrapping his other hand around with it. A chakra string flowed out of his finger's, binding Kakashi's wrist together.

"And what are you going to do now, Naruto-kun? You have to stay in contact with the chakra strings or they'll fall apart." And that was when Sakura raced up and tried to yank the bells out of the belt loop. Tried to, because Kakashi used a seal-less Shushin to teleport onto Naruto's back. He gave a small 'eep!' as he fell to the ground, but Kakashi paid no mind.

"So, did ya'll plan that or were you just opportunistic?" he asked. Sakura pouted.

"We planned that, sensei…" she muttered, angry at the missed opportunity.

'_Damn, there goes all my free time…'_

"You pass!" Sakura looked up, and then cheered aloud.

"CHA! Score one for Team Seven!" Sasuke looked over to the side, a small smirk playing on his lips. Naruto shifted under Kakashi.

"Uh, that's great sensei, but do you think you could get off me? Please?" Kakashi, eye-smiled.

"I guess."

"Ne, Naruto how'd you tie Kakashi-sensei without ninja wire?"

"Oh, haven't you heard of chakra strings Sakura? They're really really cool…" Kakashi watched as the new Tem Seven walked off, talking (or grunting) like teammates, friends. So, the new Team Seven…wonder if they'll be as destructive as the last one? Kakashi chuckled at the thought of a new set of Sannin, and then shuddered. _'Oh god, I'm a sensei…'_

* * *

New Changes to the Naruto 'verse:

Naruto wears a big, orange, and baggy hoodie. Does he ever take it off? Nope.

Hinata's mother is alive and turned her crazy.

Several clan heirs, as well as Naruto know of his parentage. Hinata, Shino, and Shikamaru all know. Why? And of what relevance is it?

Kiba and Hinata are cousins. How? You'll have to wait for that…mwahahaha.

Ino has low self-esteem, trying to earn Daddy's approval.

Only half of the Uchiha clan and his father were killed for reasons unknown.

They were able to work as a team for the bell test. Does this help Kakashi's opinion (and therefore worth) of them?

That's all we know for now.

Glossary of Japanese words:

Kunai: A type of ninja weapon; throwing knives

Shurikan: A type of ninja weapon; throwing stars.

Kami: God, or a god/goddess

-san: Honorific. Equivalent to Mr. or Mrs.

Okaa-san: Mother.

Sayōnara: Good bye.

Kuso: A curse. Damn, or shit.

-chan: Honorific. Usually used on a girl younger than you, but can be used on boys as well. Many times it is used by a boy to the girl he likes.

Kunoichi: A female ninja.

Jōnin: A higher level of ninja, above genin, chunin, and special jōnin. They can take B- to A-rank missions.

Matte: Wait or hold on.

Kai: Release. Used to end a genjutsu.

A/N: Be grateful, I just gave you ten pages of this crap. Yeah, and we have a non-bitchy Sakura. Yay for nonbitchy-Sakura! I'm not happy with this ending, but I wanted it happy, and at least slightly cheesy. Wonderful, right? I don't have much experience with fight scenes, so you'll have to tell me how I did. Can anyone guess where I got the names for the generic teams? You get a cyber cookie if you can name them all. Also, don't hold your breath for the next chapter, I have testing at school all week so it'll probably take all week and the weekend. Mope, whine, and die. I feel evil. Ja na!


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